I fear growing old. I hate
looking back and realizing
just how old I have gotten.
I wish sometimes that youth
could be a forever thing but
know that life must take its
course. I fear snakes too!

Okay my first fear is of stick insects you know the big brown ones, cringing just talking about them. When I was young my best friend lived up on a hill and to get to her house I used to have to walk up about 50 steps.

These steps were lined with pencil pine trees (favorite habitat of stick insects). Anyway a girl that was jealous of the friendship my best friend and I had would hide in between these pencil pines with a huge ass stick insect in her hands and chase me ... no wonder I am like I am. I was a very fast runner when I was younger and please to say she never caught me.

Fear number two and this is the silly bit elastic bands lol yeap rubber bands hate them. Especially those big thick ones lol, like worms yucky. Needless to say not a rubber band in site at home or at work nothing like string :).

The most frightning thing that has ever happened to me was that my friend came to visit me one night... She died earlier in the evening.

i'm on it.
i'm on it.
i'm on it.
there's nothing i can do.
get me off!

hi. Um, i guess I'll share my biggest fear. I know that i shouldn't fear this, but i fear losing this person that I've shared my life with for along time. This is probably the most common of all fears though, losing one you love. In my life, I've made some mistakes, and they have really messed me up with our relationship. Not directly between the way we feel for each other, but by consequences carried out by her mom. Just this last summer, she forbade us to practically have contact with each other. In an effort to better the situation, i suggested taking a break from the current caliber that we were at, and if we felt like our hearts were leading us, to date other people. Her mom in turn, turned what i did around to be a selfish thing, and yet again made me out to be the bad guy. Don't get me wrong, i try to take responsibility and not shift the blame to others, but in her case, no matter what i do, bad or good, she makes it out to be bad. I didn't prepare myself for what could happen though. Through the years, the thought of her being attracted to another evaded my mind. Rather, i pushed it out, and i didn't want to come to grips with reality and realize it was a very evident possibility. So when she did find someone else, i wasn't prepared on how to react. Should i be supportive, should i fade away in the background? I was the one to make the notion to date others, so i can't get mad. But i wasn't prepared to lose her. I haven't yet, but that one thought makes me break down in fear more then anything else. I guess i kind of went into more then my fear. Sorry if i dragged on. Oh, her name is Wendy, that's how i found your site. I must go now.

Your's truly
Xxxx
P.s. i really enjoy your poetry

i have an intense fear of beer, it sounds strange but its really horrible, everywhere i go i seem to be surrounded by people drinkin beer.

i have trouble goin out at night because beer is everywhere, i hate the taste of it and the smell, i feel sick when i see it.

one time i thought i would try to overcome this fear, i went out to a nightclub and stayed in the 'beer zone' for about 25 minutes. i was almost ready to buy my first beer when i was suddenly overcome by the stench of stale beer and just made it to the toilet where i was violently ill and later escaped to a beer free zone. i went straight home beerless and never tried it again.

To the person w/ the fear of planes falling upon them. No you are not alone. A relative of my best friend has the same problem. She has always been afraid of planes crashing on her. in fact it was so bad that when she was younger she used to babysit my best friend and he would make airplane noises and chase her around and it flipped her out. He would later say he was trying to rid her of the fear but if you knew him u'd no he's just mean like that. So You are not alone.

I have this strange fear of Clowns...I really hate them. Ever since I was a little girl. I was about 11 when I first saw the movie "It" by Steven King, and I never liked clowns after that. I am trying to get over the fear of them, but it is really hard for me. I hate mimes, I hate the circus, I hate Ronald McDonald, etc, etc. I don't like looking at anything dealing with clowns. Whenever a person has make-up on their face, making them look as though they are trying to be a clown, I freak. I only hope that I'll get over it.

I have a fear of losing a
person who is both my best
friend and my surrogate
big sister... and she's a
wendy too

My biggest fear is one that i have carried with me my whole life,and that is this;

I am freaked out that a big jet liner is going to come crashing down over me and my neighborhood.

I have heard plenty of stories about the fear of flying but have heard no stories about being on the ground and fearing a plane crashing on top of a person.

I have had nightmares all my life of a jetliner crashing over my home. I see flames and fireballs and people screaming in the aircraft.

This is a dream i do not want to come true.

I dreamt for 2 years of being in a car wreck ad spinning around out of control. These dreams were a weekly occurance until it actually happened. I was thinking about my dream as i was spinning out of control on the freeway. I was saying to ;myself,"oh my God this is what happened in my dreams!' Talk about freaky!

I am so freaked by airplanes when they fly over my house. If i hear a really loud jet flying over my heart pounds so hard and i get so scared. i have actually gotten into my car to run away from jets and airplanes which fly in circles over my home.

I know it sounds crazy but that is my truest fear in my life. Does anybody out there share my same fear?

I have this fear that I may never fall in love... I really want to fall in love, but I can't seem to stay with a guy longer than 4 months. About a year ago I was with this guy who I thought would be my "forever," but he stabbed me in the back. It turned out that he got "bored" of me, and decided to "move on" with his life without me, and found another girl... I gave my all into that relationship, I really wanted it to work out...but this time the break up wasn't my fault...I fell in love with the guy...(sadly) Now, when I go out with a guy, I usually get bored of him after 4 months or less, and I don't know why. I am all infatuated with the guy, then start to like him, then it just dies. I dont know why. I am now with a guy...I am hoping that it'll work out. I really want it too. I have known him for 13 years and we have only been going out for about 2 weeks. So, so far so good. I just hope that I will be able to fall in love again...

Over a decade ago, I was reading a book on the various martial arts of the world. At the beginning of every chapter there was a quote that tried to sum up that particular art form. Only one caught my attention: "There is nothing to be feared, only understood." Since then this saying has been a part of my life. I no longer feel fear so much as concern. Fear is only natural, everyone feels it at varying degrees. The best frame of mind is acceptance, once you accept the unfavorable outcome as a possibility, your fear level is more likely to decrease. One may not want to think of being bitten, or drowning, or thunder, or even dying, but once you can see something for what it is, the potential threat will disappear. I truly hope this will help some people.

In September of 1999 I was put into a youth center (a nut house). I met a seventeen year old. We didnt realy care for each other but we got to know one another. We started to date.he gave me a ring and told me that when we got out he was going to replace it with a diamond.I was realeased from the Okahoma Youth Center on October 25 1999. he promised to come see me on November 12. I called him every day when he was at the center but then i got caught. He never came for me. It has been eight long months and I'm afraid I have lost him for forever.

When I was a little boy,
only 9... once I was
paralysed by my teacher's
terror.

Ok its not really a fear just something that scared me half to death, a few things actually, but they all only happened once. Ok once i was sleeping on the couch in my living room when i had the sudden feeling that someone was in the room with me (you know that feeling correct?) well anyway i opened my eyes and nothing was there.... so i tried going back to sleep but with my eyes closed i saw the figure of someone walking across the room i opened my eyes and nothing was there. I just pushed the fear away and tried going back to sleep. Then again i saw it walking across the room, it then sat on the end of the couch and i immediatly opened my eyes, nothing was there but i could feel the weight of it at the end of the couch.

(happening two)
ok one night i was home alone and online, when all of a sudden i heard music playing from somewhere in the house, i got up to find out where it was but just when i'd thought i'd found it it would go somewhere else. i never found out where it came from it disappeared.

(Happening three)
this happened the same night of the first one, it was right after that thing i saw, i heard a human/cat like scream from outside my back door. i didnt have the guts to go and see what the hell it was.

Lately, I have been having dreams of tornados. Not just any ordinary tornado,but the kind like on the movie "Twister". They are huge and come straight for me and whoever I may be with at the time. the majority of the time, I just barely escape. I have no idea what these dreams mean, but they are amking me have a HUGE fear of tornados that I never had before.

Something else I have a fear of is falling in love again. It just hurts way too much too fall totally head over heels in love with someone, only for it to not work out.

A major fear for me is being diagnosed with some type of long term illness that there is no cure for, which will ultimately result in my death. I watched someone who I loved like my own flesh and blood die of cancer. It was extremely painful to see him go from a strong, working man,to someone who couldn't even get out of his bed or speak. i would never want my family and loved ones to have to watch me die and suffer the irreversible pain I suffered.

I don't fear death or anything like that, in fact death comes in second place. First place belongs to my fear that one day by my fault, her decision, or worse, that I will lose the person that I cherish most in my life. My girlfriend and, hopefully, future wife. And her name just happens to be Wendy. This may sound like some dumb prank or it just may sound corny, but the absolute truth is that if I ever lost her, I would lose myself.

I fear of those who believe that they can actually know what they fear of. I fear of those who believe in the only thing that the human species know to do the best - I fear of you, for you are the kind of things that make people find out what can be not found in thier lost unfolded souls of eternal stupidity, and make them realize that they worth nothing but a piece of space hidden in the empty void you dare to call - life. I fear of you, but I respect you, for those who cannot respect the only thing that they hate are those who eventually will ruin what they want.

I have the fear my wife, Wendy, will never come back. We had our first arugement and she left. I haven't seen her since. Damn I miss her.

My greatest fear is that stupid people will reproduce at a greater rate than the relatively small populace of those with greater intellects, and that we as a species will become a race of snivelling idiots who do little more than scratch ourselves in public and see how many kids we can have to carry on our genome. Oh yeah, I am also afraid that this wont offend as many people as I intended it to, since they are probably too dumb to get it. :P

im afraid of rottweiler
bee
thunder
lightning

I am afraid of bacteria, especially bacteria in hamburger: I am afraid that my hamburger or my kid's hamburger will be tainted with the deadly e-coli bacteria. I am also afraid of food poisoning in general -- salmonella in the eggs, worms in the pork, strychnine in the Tylenol. I'm always worried that something I've eaten is going to make me sick, or even worse, kill me.

I'm particularly afraid of eating in restaurants because I fear that they do not properly wash the food, or handle it properly. I don't like to see other people touch my food with their hands. I am afraid of illness in all forms. I worry that I will become ill, or that my children will be ill, and if I do become ill, even a minor illness terrifies me because I think that it will turn into something more serious. The feeling of being sick frightens me. I'm afraid that I will die whenever I get sick. Luckily I don't get sick very often, but when I do get sick, I take it very hard. I had strep throat last summer and I ended up going to the ER because I had an anxiety attack and thought it was a heart attack. This was all due to the fact that I felt really bad because of the strep throat. It made me so scared and anxious that I really freaked out. I do not deal with illness very well. I can't stand to see my children sick. When they got chicken pox, I nearly went crazy. I am afraid of blood and needles. When I must have a blood test, I invariably pass out. I have fainted on several occasions after cutting my finger. I can't deal with injury to the body, even a small injury.

i have this fear with the spiders..eventhough iam far from them they always makes me feel nervous.i don't know why...i feel that they will bite me .iam really afraid and scared ....now iam begging to hate them i will step on them if ever i will see one.....hahaahha..revenge to the spiders....hahahahaha

My fear is of evil. The evil that gets in a person to make them hurt others. Like raping killing and even the kind thats makes people think they can have a few drinks and drive. Or when it makes people fell they can try drugs and come out OK. I use to be a drug addict and took alot of stupid chances with other peoples lives when I drove.

I am always in fear of this evil coming back in my life. I am not afraid of the people who do bad things. I am afraid of what is in them to make them do these things.

My fear is of driving. I mean.....I was living with my aunt in California for 2 years. I finally started driving down small dirt roads with her only to discover that I can back up and turn better than I can go forwards! So for a while, I got used to the small road and took it pretty well. Months later we were coming back from my cousins wedding in Southern California. My aunt exited the freeway and told me to drive. I had never been on a major road before and I also wasn't expecting to drive. Needless to say....I wasn't ready for 5 pm traffic on a California freeway (I'm from Texas). At first I was doing okay until traffic started backing up. I was getting more and more nervous. Then when traffic shows up I see something in the road that I thought (from that point of distance) was a trashbag in the road and so I didn't worry about it. Then as I got closer a huge wing flew up from it. It turned out to be a big dead owl. I freaked out cuz I didn't want to hit it again and tried to stradle it with the tires to miss, and wound up swerving infront of a big van. I almost caused a total catastrophe all because I freaked out when the wing came up and I saw that it was an owl!!!! It has been about a year or so and I haven't driven since. My husband tries to get me to go and at least get a permit--but I can't handle it. I can barely handle riding in the car!!! Do you know what this kind of fear is called? I tried looking it up all over the place and cant find anything on it. What should I do?

P.S. I also have a fear of big diesel trucks (rigs--whatever they are called).

i always fear of being left all alone,if i have no friends beside me,iam always concious of myself if no one wants to go with me in parties, shoppings and other social activities.Theres alwaays the insecurities in myself that many times of acting differntly in front of others just to hide and pretend something because iam afraid they will just reject me as a friend and they won't like me and appreciate what iam doing..I sometimes feel depress if someone will not talk to me or have my company...thanx..i have let my feelings out...

Ever since I could remember I have been afraid of dogs, and here are two of the reasons that I have been given to explain the fear.

1. When I was a little kid my parents took me to a fair and my mom had me on her lap while she was eating a hotdog. Any way, a small dog kept trying to jump up on her lap and she thought that it was really cutethat it wanted some of her lunch. My mom was having a problem with me though, she couldn't understand why I kept crying. Later, when she went to get up she sow scratches all over my legs from the dog.

2. When I was small and my Dad was pushing me around in my stroller one day a van stopped at the top of the block and let out a large dog. The dog came dashing down the street, and desided that my carege looked like a nice toy to play with (or something like that.) Well what ever it thought, the dog started to attack my stroller. It made so much noise that people stuck their heads out of their windows to see what the fuss was about. By this time the owners of the dog, in their van, had driven down to the end of the block and were calling the dog to come. Fortunly, my Father and I were not injered but I was pretty darn scared.

Here's a dream I once had
whilst working in the
Arctic Circle...

Being tied down naked
in a forest with millions
of mosquitoes crawling
and buzzing all over me
draining my blood....

I fear many things. I don't know why, or how i fear the things that i fear, but i sure do fear them! One of the main things that i fear are my dreams. Or should i say, my nightmears. I always have these nightmears where i am being raped or hunted down by suspecious men. My nightmears seem so real and in them, when i try to scream, nothing comes out, it's like i can't do anything to protect myself in the nightmear. I am voiceless and defendless. A more realistic fear is something that i think many fear. It is being alone. Everytime i am home alone, or walking down the street alone, i feel like somebody is watching me, or planning to kill me, i am always looking over my shoulder or turning around. I can't help but feel like a set of eyes are watching me, examining me, and it is a bad feeling, it is irritating. Once, when i was home alone, and my mom was supposed to be home 6 hours earlier, and i had no clue to wher she was at, i sat agianst the hallway wall, with a gun and a flashlight. My mom's car had broken down about 15 miles away and for the whole 6 hours she was stranded, i was scared to death! I also fear death. I mean, who doesn't? I don't know where i'll go, or if i'll ever be with my family agian, i don't ever want to leave earth. It is so painfull for me to think of it, i just sit and wonder for hours, where i will go, or even more importantly, will i be with my family. We are all on earth now, together, but when we leave here, will it be the same in heaven? will we still love the same people, know the same ones, see the same things? All this wondering keeps me fearing. Well, there is more to say, but i don't want to take all day or a page long. Thanks for listening to my fears, i know there is worse, but to me, these are the worse, especially my nightmears, waking up all sweaty and voiceless. Thanks! Another Wendy.....13 years old.

I just recently married my high school sweetheart. We had been together for about 7 years before we got married. He is a police officer and works odd shifts. Sometimes he has to work past the time he is due off due to some sick-o who has no respect for the law and does not realize why we have laws. These are the people I am afraid of. You know, cop killers, misguided youth, disgruntled speeders, feening drug addicts, people with severe mental disabilities that distort their sense of reasoning, all the other unstable people who's lives have also been affected by these people and want revenge. These people are my biggest fear. Not because I hate them. I feel sorry for them. But there is always, in the back of my mind, the fear that one of these unfortunate souls will endanger, injure, and maybe even...I don't like to think about it. My husband is a good and fair man. He is very good at what he does, but what if....

My mom told me that when
I was about 5, I rolled
under my little brother's
bed while I was asleep.
Then, I guess I told her
some story about how I
was buried alive. I dont
know, but I am FREAKED of
being by open graves, at
funerals, etc.

I was never more afraid in my life as when I was stranded in Warsaw with no money trying to get to Vilnius. I was exhausted after an 11 hour flight, then routed through smoky Munich, and finally sick and tired and trying to find the train station in Warsaw.

For two hours I walked around, trying to get to it. I could see it across the boulevard and tracks, but couldn't get to it, and had no money for a taxi. (I had ridden the bus into town no problem. ) I was so sick and exhausted. I finally ended up forking over 400+ dollars for a room for the night in a hotel where English was spoken. By the time I made it there, I was so exhausted I couldn't write my name (for the travelers checks) Thank God!! they accepted them even though I could barely hold a pen in my hand, and my signature was nothing more than a wavy line. Did I mention that I had to fend off "gentlemen" who wanted to relieve me of my luggage and who knows what else?

I don't even remember it all, but I'll never forget it was the most afraid I ever was in my life, and most definately, the longest day of my life.

You may think that this is weird and unbelieveable but i'm not liein...okay! my most frighting experience! One night i waited late to take out the garbage it was about 10:00 I tied up the garbage and walked toward the garbage can outside I lifted the lid and put the sack inside and then while i had the lid lifted up....I heard a humming sound to my immediate left I looked I was scared out of my skin!!! Their floating off of the ground and bound a foot was a glowing levitating orange/red colored orb, I froze I could'nt move It moved out in the road and stopped if thought it was starring straight through me!! I then it started moving toward me!! I screamed and ran back into the house I saw it move a little futher and dissipeard in to a ditch filled area with woods and thats the last I saw of this thing.....I never took out the garbage out late again.

This is the first time I,ve been here and I want to tell you my fear, Im afraid of staying in a house all by myself, you never know who could sneak up behind you. Im so afraid that someday when Im home alone a stranger would sneak up behind you and stick a knife into you, isn't that TERRIBLE!!!! Thanks for listening to me BYE

When I was about 12 I had a dream my friends and I were at this Carnival. I went on the rollercoaster with my boyfriend and all my friends except for one (who was afraid of highest) and the other (who was tried and wasn't feeling well). Well, those 2 really didn't like each other so they went their separate ways. As the ride was over we couldn't find my friend (the one who wasn't feeling well) and we asked the other girl "where she went" but she didn't answer so we formed a search parties. So we searched everywhere except the rides that have insides like The Haunted Chamber and The Fun House. So we each looked. We tried the Funhouse first ,she wasn't there.Then in the Haunted Chamber under the fog, we found her laying on the floor with her clothes off ...............dead. We all started crying and imagined how insist she was. We just cried and cried. I woke up and started to cry like it really happen but it didn't.

Wendy, I happened upon your web site this evening and couldn't resist sharing my biggest fear. I have a bad habit of jumping in my car and driving off without first fastening my seatbelt. Somewhere between second and third gear I finally remember that I need to buckle-up. At this point it is way too late to stop and "get it together". This is where my fear comes in. As I reach over my shoulder with my right hand, steer with my left knee (while trying to push in the clutch), and shift to third with my left hand, I imagine my car running off the road and ending up in a burning mass of mangled metal. Click-o-phobia defined: 'The irrational fear of an automobile accident caused by attempting to buckle one's seatbelt while driving.'

The fear I have is the fear is hearing or even at the thought my boyfriend's ex. I don't know why I still feel jealous or unsecured at the thought of her when we are together for so long. Recently,she has just come back to Singapore from Australia after her Uni. My boyfriend is going to the Uni she went to next year, and he asked me if he can call * his friend* (her) to ask abt life in the Uni.I was not smart enough to know that it was her he was refering to at first. Only after the second time then I realised that he was talking abt calling her. My reaction was very disappointing to me... as I was kinda throw tantrum.. I was very disgusted even at the word of her name. I don't know why this is the barrier that I can never cross.. I am such a failure I don't know why. I feel that she is still a very part of our life,cos everything seem to remind him of her,even a song which we hear in the car or when we are out with his friends they will mention abt her.He knew that I was very upset that he brought her up and say that he 'll not do that again. But I really doubt so. What can I do to let this horrible feeling go away ? I did not want to feel this way. I am practically not a jealous tyupe of person.But this time I think I have lost my heart.

I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE cockroaches. What dark corner of hell were these things spawned from? They scare the crap out of me. I live in the lowcountry of South Carolina and we have Palmetto bugs which FLY. Man, it's so gross when they fly. One dropped right on the bed beside me one night and I thought I was going to vomit. When I find them in my apartment, I start screaming and jumping on the sofa and I get nauseated. Which isn't productive, because I live by myself and I eventually have to be the one to kill them. Roaches suck!

I will never forget me experience that gave me the fear of death. Not my own but of family members. I have lost grandparents and people that were much older and that was sad but I had no problem accepting it because it was supposed to happen. I don't mean to sound crude but older people die, we all grow up expecting a certain pattern of who will die before us. One night though I had just finished watching E.R. (the tv show) and it happened. It was 14 months ago that my brother, Greg, had died. he was 22, only 18 months older then me. I always knew people of all ages die but this hit me hard. it made what I knew in my head come true in my heart and spirit. I hope that nobody else would ever have this fear that I have but unfortunately I also know that cannot be.

No, you are NOT alone!!!!!

Have you ever had that water conscious friend who uses the toilet just before and says "I knew you needed to go so I didn't flush."

ICK!!!!!!!!!

I once read in a woman's magazine that many women fear other's are listening to them pee, when they use a public restroom.

My biggest fear is going into a public bathroom, looking in a stall, and somebody didn't flush. I all of a sudden lose my urge to go.

Is there anyone else out there like me?!?

[Note from Wendy: A friend of mine lived in Japan for a while and told me that Japanese women do not feel comfortable going to the bathroom because they don't like for people to hear them go to the bathroom. Because this was such a culturally chronic problem, women were wasting a lot of water flushing the toilet the whole time they were in the bathroom. (Imagine millions of Japanese women flushing the toilet every time they had to make a noise in the can.) So, to combat this problem, many places installed a little device you can press that simulates the sound of a toilet flushing to cover any noises that might emanate from the stalls. Amazing, isn't it?]

My fear is very simple and broad. I'm afraid of monsters. Not green live-under-the-bed monsters, but true monsters. Creatures. Whatever form they exist in. The kind that could jump out at you from around a dark corner. Maybe that's just my overactive imagination, but when I'm somewhere where I can't see the whole room (i.e. in the shower) I find myself checking over my shoulders every once in a while. Maybe it relates back to something that happened when I was a small child. Maybe it's a fear of the unknown. Maybe it's a childish fear, but it's very real, and it's very scary.

All mortals must feel fear;
it is their lot in life. If
we only realized how much
everyone else around us is
scared, we would feel a
little more confident in
our daily lives. Accepting
the inevitable, even the
worst life has to offer,
is just that: Life.

December 5, 1992, My mom and dad were driving my older sister and I to my grandmother's house to stay the night with her. On the way there we saw a car wrecked up against the side of the bridge we were fixing to cross. My dad pulled the car on across the bridge. Once we were safely on the other side, my dad got out to go help the victim in the other car. The roads were a little bit slick that night. So everyone should have been driving slow. Once my dad got out he looked both ways, and when it was all clear he started to run across the bridge to offer his assistance. But some idiot in a semi-truck decided that they didn't need to slow down for the conditions. My dad got hit by that speeding semi-truck. It hit him straight over the bridge. He landed in a tree. I was 12 years old at the time. Nobody should ever have to go through that. He is alive today, but he is paralyzed from the chest-down. He is sick everyday. He used to be so healthy. The doctors said that if he hadn't of been as healthy as he was, then he would have died. He used to be a carpenter, and every winter he would go hiking in colorado. I love my dad so much. I wish things were the way they used to be. Anyways, that was the most frightening night of my life. I pray that no one has to go through what I've been through. And to those of you who have already been through it or worse, may God be with you.

I am a 250 pound 6'1" man who is often described as imposing or intimidating. I am a big fan of bugs bunny, am faithful to and gentle with my wife of 20 years, and have crashed my career to be a father to my kids. I am always embarrassed because I cry at movies, even stupid ones. Children, cats, and dogs, generally recognize who I am inside, but adults do not. I live my life seeing the look of fear in the eyes of other people. There is nothing I can do or say to ease the tension. If I try, it is all the more frightening! It is difficult getting on an elevator with a woman, or even another man, and realize that they often are holding their breath in fear. In conversation, I sometimes see grown men tremble. Once in a convention center I asked a woman for directions and a big voice came over a hidden speaker. It was security ordering me to step back and hold still. A security guard appeared from an unmarked door. The woman laughed at me and walked away. The security guard realized I was much bigger than he was, and he became very nervous. Nothing worse than having a man with a gun and mace afraid of you! But children, dogs, and cats understand me...

I'm not really scared of
many external things. But
what I am afraid of...
I'm deathly afraid of not
ever knowing my true fears.
And I hope that makes a
tidbit of sense to anybody
who isn't me.

You ask about terrifying experiences. Two come to mind immediately: I once sneaked out of the house to meet a guy. I was in college at the time and still living at home. He picked me up, we went to his house, listened to music, smoked some dope, made love and fell asleep. When we woke up it was dawn and I thought I was dead meat! All the way home I sat in dread silence with my heart in my throat! I was terrified that they would be up, that they would notice I had been out etc etc. My father is from the old school and he would have whipped me! Luckily for me, the door to my room was closed. My brother (with whose friend I had gone out) was in the shower and never heard me go into my room. I jumped into bed with all my clothes on and waited a long time for my heart to beat normally again!

Another terrifying experience was a recurring dream I had of walking in a dark street filled with drunks and other men. The men ran after me. My legs which often brought me in first in 600 yard dashes were like molasses and my usually healthy voice would also not respond. I could not run and I could not scream, but the men never caught me.

When my daughter was a baby, she once threw up in her crib. We found her asleep with her face in the vomit. She must have cried but we did not hear her! I was a single parent living with my parents at the time and they had guests and we were all downstairs and the baby was upstairs. When we found her like that it was the most horrible and terrifying feeling. Guilt and dread. Just thinking of how she must have cried and cried with nobody responding, and worse, that she could have choked on her own vomit. So, all you young mothers out there who read this.....have an intercom in your child's room if you are going to be out of earshot of your baby...

I'm pretty much afraid to walk down the street without a friend or some kinda protection. You see, I'm "one of those" pretty, young girls that guys look at. I'm a little more developed that most other girls my age (14). It's not ALL people that I fear...just mostly GUYS. Especially OLDER ones. I'm afraid I'll get jumped or raped or something like that. That, I think, and the thought of losing my parents, scares me more that anything else on earth!

Well, I'm a guy, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been afraid - once.(yeah, right.) I used to live out of a backpack, so I would always be camping in the woods somewhere. I spent lots of time walking, and on the one night, I was returning to my camp in the dark. It was moonless, so we're talking REALLY dark. Suddenly, from beside the road, there was a long, low moan, like something right out of a ghost movie. My hair was standing up like a cat with his tail in the light socket. I figured, what the heck, if it's really a ghost I'll never outrun him on foot. So I turned and walked toward the sound. There aren't very many things I've ever done that were harder. What I found was an oak tree with a hole rotted through the trunk. When the wind was at just the right angle, it moaned like when you blow across the top of a bottle, only bigger. It just goes to show you - one way to handle your fears is to simply face them. They might not be as bad as they seem!

Ok. this may sound a little stupid but it's the major thing I have a fear of. I'm fearful that I will never find that one special woman. I do not like to date women that I don't really like. I always feel like a user and I break it off. So I stopped going out with them. I now only ask out the women that I feel are my friends either way. This has turned out not to be a good thing. These women are not interested in trying to take our relationships further. They won't even spend time with me on a plutonic level. This has happen 3 times. Now there is a woman who I care for very much. I've known her for 3 years and I like her very much. I'm afraid to approach her. She knows I care, but it's hard to say if she care as much or at all. I know she likes me. She is always happy to see and hear my voice on the phone. Here is the problem, she rejected me once before. It was 6 months after her previous boyfriend passed away. I don't know whether to think she was not ready or that she doesn't care for me. Anyway, I guess my biggest fear is that Wendy (not jokking) is not the woman I will grow old with. She's may be the first woman, that I wanted to be with regardless of what she looks like below her neck. Well sorry I'm taking up too much space.

My fear: that I will not
have enough time (70 odd
years) to do everything I
want to do, and enough time
to spend with my beautiful
partner and future children.

I must drink more champagne!
Quick!

I am totally and irrationally afraid..no, terrified, of Feathers. I work in child care, and sometimes kids bring me a feather for show and tell...I have to do everything not to scream and run away..it's not that I am scared it will hurt me, just that it will make me drty..for some reason I think feathers are dirty...I also have a feather doona, and sometimes a feather will work its way out of the doona and cover and I will jump and of bed and yell for my husband to come get it away from me.

I am also afraid of having a deformed or retarded child.

I am afraid of losing my Husband and my parents.

I am afraid sometimes of a ficticious 'man across the road'. I had this dream once that there was this man who lived across the road from me amd stared at me all day and all night.. he just stood there and stared. He had a red beard which is vivid in my mind as well. Now, if I ever think of the dream I start to freak my self out and I have to make sure my cuttains are closed with no gaps in them at all so noone can look in.

Sometimes my husband teases me and he'll say.."the man across the road is looking!!!!

I just give him a big whack for saying that!

My deepest darkest fears and quite strange actually. Deep down I am afraid of God. I am afraid of what will happen to me if I don't be good, and I am afraid that I won't be able to know what for sure He considers right and wrong. Another of my fears is death. Death is a big fear, for I know not what is on the other side. I do not know what to expect or what to prepare for. A third fear of mine is losing my Wendy. If I were to lose her, I could not live on. I live my life for her and I am always trying to find new ways to make her smile and I want to keep her happy. I love her with all my heart and if I was to lose her I could not stand it.

Reading down your pages
again and again... know
what my biggest FEAR is:

As a parent, it is losing
your child.

There can be NOTHING in
this world more terrifying
than that.

It's interesting that you note fear of being successful at what you want to do, because I am a walking,talking example of just how paralysing that fear can be...

A long time ago I went to university to study journalism, now, while I wasn't exactly a shooting star in the firmament of the media, I wasn't disgracing myself either. I put in four years of study towards my degree and successfully gained it, I then spent two years working a a waitress.

I did actually spend some time at a local TV station after my graduation.I was working unpaid in the newsroom, "learning the ropes" or rather, wandering aimlessly through my days doing very little apart from freezing in absolute panic in front of the keyboard when I was called on to write the simplest piece that any first year could have done after their first JR101 lecture. After about a month or so, the news director and I made a mutual decision that perhaps I would be better off behind the counter at my coffee shop job. That and one abortive attempt at freelance that lasted 6 months ( I asked them to start paying me) is the sum total of my career as a journalist, a career, I might add that I sent my heart and mind on when I was eight years old. I am now 28 and I work in the complaints section of a major telecommunications company. My main use of the skills I learned at university is thinking up more and more creative ways of answering the question - " If you went to university, what are you doing in a dead end job like this ? "

The greatest fear that I know is loneliness There are so many people with petty fears like "I'm afraid of spiders" or "I'm afraid of failure" I fear that one day there will be no wife beside me when I wake , there will be no children in their rooms playing and that I will be all alone . The only family I have ever known will be gone and lost forever yes I believe loneliness is the greatest fear of us all

"I was reading your fear site
and I would like to submit my
fear to you. My fear is of
finding out that I can't have
children. One year ago this
week I lost my first baby 3
months into the pregnancy,
there was no explanation as
to why this happened, it just
did, and I believe that I have
been pregnant before and
since this one time. My husband
wants me to go to the doctors
and find out what is the matter,
but I am terrified of finding
out. My friends and family have
told me since I was very young
that I would make a wonderful
mother and I dont know how to
deal with the fact that maybe I
will never become one."

I don't have any physical fears to speak of. I could peer over the top of a high building while holding a snake in one hand and a rat in the other.

I do have a mild fear of single edged razor blades. Ever since I got a serious cut with one they now give me the creeps. I still have to use them though to scrape windows and open boxes. I'll pick up a razor tool, shiver, then proceed.

I have a re-occuring fear of an evil being who visits me in that time between sleeping and waking. It doesn't happen often, maybe once a year. Occasionally I'll find myself caught not quite awake, eyes open, seeing things but unable to move, and thoughts running through my head, regular stuff and daydreams. After a while I'll get myself to wake up.

But every now and then I get stuck waking up, and I fear he's coming. I try to buy some time by thinking of pleasant things, cause soon I'll wake up. I just can't let him sense that I'm stuck unable to move and vulnerable. Then I'll hear a noise in the house. Probably a cat or bird outside. Then I sense a movement down the hall. He's here. He is not friendly, he is an evil shadow. He knows I can sense his approach. What does he want me for? I am curious. If I happen to be facing the doorway I'll see him coming and its not so bad. If I'm stuck on my back, I don't see him till he's over me. Its worse when my back's to the door. He always uses the hallway and doorway. He always stands over me watching. I strain with all my might to move away, but I can't. I strain to yell out. My mouth is open but I can't make a sound.

But he does know that my will is stronger than his dark power. I force him away so I can awake. I warn him that if he harms me he will regret it eternally. There's no where I wouldn't find him to make him pay.

He knows this and vanishes. I awake, slightly shaken for the day.

I hope he doesn't read this, or he may return - with a single edge box-cutter.

One major fear I have is of men. I was raised by my mom and supposedly (heck if I remember) molested at a young age and again at a not so young age. But my mother and all her sisters never trusted men, so I was raised the same way. What I really fear is rape. When your at school and your in an elevator with some man a foot taller and much heavier than you, that you don't know and don't trust, worries start to creep into your head. They do for me. I also fear meeting people for the first time. What do you say, do? I fear meeting men much more. Really I don't fear meeting other women, just men. It's that whole uncomfortable silence thing. I can't stand it.

My most frightening
experience was watching
my mother being beaten
by my father on my fifth
or sixth birthday (sad
but true).

I know there could be a few men that would never normally admit to being frightened of anything, I myself try not to show it because of what friends and especially television of how it portrays men to be not afraid of any single thing, for being able to protect their female companion.

Well my frightening experience comes from two days ago. When we were returning from a concert up in Chino Valley, in California. We had stopped to fill up the car with gas. I was driving and about an hour before I had twisted my thumb trying to open the back of a pick up door. I had twisted it pretty bad that it began to swell up. I was with my girflriend and her mom, her little bro, and little sis. She saw how much I was in pain and asked if I wanted her to drive, I refused and told her I was fine when indeed you could tell I was in pain, but stood my manhood. She repeatedly tried to convince me to let her drive, but her attempts where hopeless. Until we got to the gas station and she again asked me to drive, I finally gave in and decided to allow her to drive, well right off the start I noticed she was a bit nervous, see she had only her permit to drive and not her Drivers Licence but had plenty of experience driving on the street and on the Freeway, right before we got on the on ramp I told her she was to be careful and she got an attitude and told me to drive instead of her, but her mom wants her to learn and thought this would be another good practice for her, and since I was in pain I said it was fine go ahead and drive. Well we got on the freeway onramp and where the onrap meets with the freeway my girlfriend lost control of the car and started to swerve toward the wall on the right, I reached over and grabbed the steering wheel turn the wheel to the right but it was of no use we crashed against the wall and the car flipped over. We all got out with minor cuts and bruises thanks to God and for car seat belts.

When we got out of the crash I tried to remain calm and got everyone out of the car safely while my girlfriend in the other hand was hysterical I was there to calm her down and and make her feel protected at that moment, we are now safely all at our homes and I am begining to feel scared,

what if...

I fear death, but mostly I fear intimacy and the rejection that would soon follow, if I said every thought that popped into my head. Why? Because sometimes I think of something really bizare, strange, and hideous. I'll consider it, then reject it. Never really giving it a second thought ever again. But if you do this creative brainstorming verbally, you could be considered a deviant and not the kind of person, or not, THE ONE, for ever allowing such a thought to ever enter into your head and stating it verbally or in writing. Who is sicker,the person who commits the act but does not think about it, or the one who likes to think about things, but would never do them. So unless you really are a vacant, shallow person who never had a bad or dark thought, it is best to be an actor, like the President or the famous murdering exfootball hero, say nice things, and see how many people will buy it. Enough will. It is said, our President has thousands of aquaintces, and no real friends. So, fear and avoidance of intimacy are probably the best for alot of people. The only acceptable way of expressing your dark side is if your talented at it. Like Stephen King, Don Imus, Howard Stern, or Edgar Allen Poe. If you have very little wit or talent(like me!), it is hard to be yourself if you are a basketcase and don't look like Johnny Depp.

Try riding a bike on a narrow road, on a descent, at 50 km/h (about 33 mph), and a part of the rubber that sits in the breaks decides to fly a little... and you have no helmet, no front brakes, and no beliefs in God! Thats bad! I just ended up with a few stitches in my hand, but I didn't fell very hard. Luckily...

Another very fearing sensation I have experienced came of watching too much horror movies when I was much too young. Do you know anyone who saw 'Gremlins' with 5 and a half years?! Your's truly! And I never missed the episodes of 'The twilight zone', it was rerun a few years ago. Result: I only stop fearing the dark until I was 15... (unless I was with someone!)

You know, it's just not true that men aren't afraid of anything. It's just that in our screwed-up western culture of ours we feel it's not 'manly' to show it!

Back in April of '97 I was given a concept, an idea, that just happened to 'drop' into my brain when I was thinking about nothing in particular.

I recently left permanent employment to set up a company to pursue it. My fear is both that I will not succeed in getting the idea off the ground and that I will. For it is as much possible to fear the life changes that come with success as it is to fear failure.

My greatest fear came true:

I lost THE love of my life.

I recommend anyone to
read the book
Feal the Fear and Do It
Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

My fear is of the capabilities humans have to be as bad to one another as they are good. I believe people are innately good and it's scary to think about what can happen to change a person so that they can commit unimaginable atrocities so terrifying that when I try to comprehend them it's like trying to grasp how huge the universe is. It's incomprehensible.

My other fear is that the world is going to continue to turn the way it is. What has happened to people? It's like there is no trust left. I suppose what I am trying to say is that my greatest fear is that the love that keeps us alive will, that has already diminished, will be extinguished entirely. I want to hold onto the hope and I suppose the faith that one day someone will have the voice to make people understand that there is more, that problems are so much less, that we are alive.

We are inhabiting this earth but so many of us are forgetting to live. It's all about seeing past the material world and remembering that first and foremost we are human beings, we breathe, we eat, we sleep, we love, we laugh, we cry, we do so much. Where has that all gone?

Now it's about who we know, how much money we have, what we wear, how we look. I personally would prefer to stand naked on top of a mountain, feeling the wind caress every fibre of my being, absorbing the wonder that exists in the heavens above me. Physically we are tiny in the spectrum of the universe but we have the capacity to be so big. It's the smallest gesture, reaching out to those around us, that shakes the foundations of humanity and in that one moment we are not only brighter than any sun but we are freeing ourselves.

When we hold back instead of walking forward we lose a piece of ourselves until we give into our physical restraints and our souls become as small as our existence in the universe. My fear is that humans will forget this.

Hi! I was just browsing when I came across this page. I'm only 15 years old. I had a terrifing experience once. It was when I was in 7th grade. I went to my best friend's birthday party. It was a sleep over. Unknowingly I was about to start my period that night. When we were changing, I noticed I had started. Well, I shoved my underwear in my bag and went to join my friends. That night they found my underwear. I guess they weren't shoved far enough. But that started 2 months worth of pain. I had absolutely no friends, not even my best friends, because they had heard stories of that night that were blown way out of proportion. Coming to school was like going somewhere to have my heart ripped out of my chest every day. People would whisper, say mean comments when I walked by and laugh at me. Most of these people were my friends. Friends who found nothing wrong with me a week before! I couldn't even talk to my mom about it cause I didn't want her to know I was unhappy. But it was the scariest time of my life. It's been 3 years since then. I'm just starting to be comfortable going to birthday parties or the movies with my friends and not having thoughts about being left out or the outcast. I think everyone forgot about it so quickly because I hid my feelings so well. I have tons of friends, and the girl that did that to me has grown up a bit but she's still the same, but people now want to be my friend because I have the good heart. I now know who I want to be and how I want to treat people. No one needs to be treated the way I was. I would never want anyone to have to go through what I went through. To be that alone is like hell on earth, especially for someone who was only 12 years old.

Hi Wendy, I am a seventeen years old girl from the Netherlands, in Europe. And I sometimes am afraid that I have no real fears. Unlike many other girls, I am not afraid of walking in the dark through the town. I am not afraid of failing in the future, not because I am so sure I will succeed, but because I can't imagine any future at all for myself. The future is just a big black hole that does not only not frighten me, but one I am not even interested in. The only thing I am afraid of is something as stupid as brainless and actually useful little creatures called spiders. A fear not worth fearing, I'm afraid...

1) Fear of abandonment (this one I was aware of)

2) Fear of harm or danger to loved ones and "innocent" ones (children)

3) Fear of losing a child (even though I don't have any...yet)

4) Fear of not being successful at becoming I want to be.

i am deathly afraid of the ocean. i love pools but the ocean just scares me for the fact that you don't know what can just come and get you. there are so many things to be scared of in the ocean. once when i was about 8 i went to the beach. (this was before i developed my fear of the ocean) i was in the water and i saw a woman with her boyfriend. she saw something in the water and she started breathing strangely. it was a HUGE jellyfish. the man started to try to pull her away but she was frozen in fear. all of a sudden she took off her shirt and she scooped up the jellyfish. she threw the bundle into the deeper part of the ocean. she was not wearing a bathing suit top and she was standing there half naked and crying. i felt so bad but i was just as scared. i never went to the ocean for many years later and even then i would not go in. i just thought you might be able to use this for your page. btw great page and keep it up. wendys of the web are kewl!

I'm a very bold, redheaded, (Scorpio) Wendie, and my WORST fear is thunder and lightning.

When I was in the Navy I was standing the midnight-4am watch in Meridian Mississippi, and had to cross a rather large courtyard between barracks as part of my watch-path. It was storming BAD that night, and we were not allowed to carry umbrellas on watch.

There was one tree in the middle of the courtyard, and don't you know RIGHT as I walked past it, lightning struck it. ( I couldn't have been but maybe 15 feet away from it). It knocked my on my tail, and I lost my hearing for about 3 weeks.

NOW, everytime it starts to storm I get a little "wiggy". Luckily I have a GREAT boyfriend, who knows to hold me tight and love on me 'till it's over!

I have an irrational fear of rats (and mice). I know it's whacko and there is no logical explanation for it. I have never been "attacked" by a monster mouse. I have never had a bad experience involving a rat or a mouse. I have seldom even seen these critters. But when I do see one ... even if I see a rat run across the road in front of my car, I nearly panic.

I respect, but do not fear, snakes, spiders, dogs, people, weather, god, or anything else. Rats. Just rats.

I am a 50 year old man and a combat veteran. I would rather the face the "communist hordes" of yesteryear, than confront a mouse.

My fear is very simple, my wife left me 4+ years ago. She had been involved with people doing crystalmeth. I should have seen the signes the last two years of a nine year marriage. I came home one day from work and she was gone. To this day I have not heard from her or know where she is, or if she is still alive. I divorced her, and now here I am. IT IS VERY HARD TO MEET PEOPLE. My fear is being alone without a soul mate or best friend, (someone to have a life with). I wake up at nite all the time hearing nocks on my door, only to get up and find no one there. The mind is very powerfull, I dream of one nite I will find someone there. Is this interesting enough? By, Dave.

Quicksand (was traumatized by Gilligan's Island reruns)

Spiders in my hair (Bleh!)

Earthquakes, well I grew up in California so am used to em, but Mt. Etna is going to erupt ANY MOMENT now, so they say and may cause earthquakes too and these buildings are all stone and very very old, I just don't want to get squished.

Dearest Wendy,

Hi, I came across your page while surfing and read about the fears that each of us have and you wish there are more men sharing their fear. Yes I admit that I have quite a few scary stuff too but it may not be things that you expect to hear. So, do you want to read about them?

Well, I'm a Christian and there is one thing I fear... I know I fear the Lord... but I guess that's not the "fear" you mean.

One thing I fear is that I don't make it HOME to Jesus in Heaven. I'm afraid that I may not be able to meet my Lord Jesus Christ's expectations.

I don't really fear for myself but I do fear for others. Its more like I'm afraid to lose my loved ones. This is a big fear... loss of loved ones. I don't want to even mention it in too detailed. I hope you understand. Its not something I want to think about.

I'm not really afraid of my own death cos I place my trust in the Lord but I hate to think about it if it happens to someone I love cos the pain of loss is greater than physical pain.

A second letter received from the same fellow:

Oh its me again... I've got something to say ... Some people are afraid of losing control... like losing control of their life. I used to be afraid of that but now, I've learnt to put my trust in the Lord. I give my life to Him and I know that whatever happens, God is still in control.

One thing I cannot imagine is a life without Jesus... now that is scary. I really don't think I can go through life without Jesus and that's a scary thought.

About two years ago I was hauling a load of potatoes from Sugar City, Idaho (look it up, it's north of Pocatello) to Cincinatti, Ohio. I decided that the shortest route would be through Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and then down to I-80 east. This route took me over Teton Pass. In case you have never been there, Teton Pass is a 10% grade, and very twisty. It is also closed to heavy trucks in winter. Unfortunately, I did not realize that, since the sign informing me of that fact was covered with snow. As I began to climb the pass, loaded to approximately 83,000 lbs. gross, I was wondering why all the cars coming at me were flashing their highbeams at me. I did not know they were telling me that I was not supposed to be there in the first place! Just before I topped the hill, I lost traction and began to slide backwards. There was a vertical drop of about 3000 ft. and no guardrail to keep me and my potatoes from going over the edge. The feeling of being out of control of this large vehicle, along with the knowledge that there was no one to help me, was one of abject terror. As it turned out, I was able to regain traction and back down the hill (3.5mi in reverse!) and chose to take an alternate route at that point. I can say with total certainty that until you have experienced something like this, something that requires you to maintain composure WHILE YOU ARE TERRIFIED, the average person does not know the meaning of fear. At that point, it is you and your abilities, and nothing else.

being home alone awaiting your beloved who is overdue and you have no way of getting to her to make sure she's ok much less know when to go start looking for her or even where to look... that is huge, powerful, overwhelming, mind-numbing, frustrated, fist-pounding fear of the first degree.... and then she bursts in the door and you're so relieved you don't know whether to bless her out or flood her shoulder with tears... and you usually do the latter....

and then realizing that the federal government has mandated that Chevy rig her car so that if anything ever happens to her, there's a bomb inches from her chest that will go off... supposedly to inflate an air bag to save her, but you know she's short and sits too close for that....

no, I'll tell you what the hardest thing I ever did was.... letting my beloved walk away knowing they were going to take her in a room somewhere and that she would be unconcious and there was a chance, ever so slim, that she might not come out again.... that feeling in the pit in your stomach that has no bottom.... fortunately for me, she walked out in one piece, better than ever... and so my sanity is intact....

After 8 hours of waiting the forest fire had reached our house. My 17 year old daughter and I put out hundreds of sparks that sailed in on a strong wind. Each spark was a living thing with the end of our home as its destiny. We had only wet rags to put out the sparks. Soon the air got hot to breathe. I looked up and saw the night sky was red with millons of cinders blowing in on the wind. I was hell. Fear was a thing I could touch even as it touched me. The very air was in flames. We were lucky, our house survived. I'm a fifty year old father of nine and I know fear...again.

I was sitting on my couch in my living room at 11:45 pm surfing the net on my laptop when the world around me exploded, my home shook violently and my sliding glass doors covered by opaque blinds glowed a violent orange. I leapt from the couch and ran to my daughters room, by the ghastly white light that looked like it was going to consume us I grabbed her and her coat and ran into my bedroom to wake my wife. As I woke my wife a second explosion louder and more violent than the first shook my home and lit the sky behind the blinds. I didn't want to look to see what had happened, I could almost feel the heat of the fire outside, I thought a nuclear bomb had been dropped on NYC and if I looked outside, I would burn out my eyes and never see my wife and daughter again. As we ran to get clothes on and I realized we were not being vaporized, I mustered the courage, after burning the image of my family into my brain, to look outside. My building was on fire, a 2000 degree pillar of fire was outside my daughters window lighting the devastation of 9 apartment buildings right outside my bedroom window. We ran out into the burning sky sheltering my 1 1/2 year old daughters eyes so she wouldn't be haunted by this disaster and ran to safety.

A 36 inch gas main had exploded and demolished all the buildings between it and my building with one burst. I don't know why we are alive. So, while I experienced a great amount of fear that night, I am not sure I fear as many things as I used to now.

The thing men are most afraid of is having the fear seen. As I read the report of the panic attacks my thoughts went back to Vietnam.

Word would come down to move out and fire and ice would invade my stomach. But, I was a squad leader so I had to get up (you always took every opportunity to lay down or sit in Vietnam) and start putting my gear on, not letting on to my men how afraid I was. Afraid not of my death, that was down on the list. At the top was doing or not doing something that got one of them killed or wounded.

I've read that, in times past, pirates would bury their enemies up to the neck in the sand at the surf line. This would be done at low tide so, as the tide came in, the poor soul got to watch the waves come closer and closer, the feeling of fear and doom growing with each wave.

I believe that story is the best way to describe what I was going through as we got in single file and walked through the gap in the wire, each step taking us closer to the jungle.

one time, when i was about 17 and none too seasoned, my girlfriends rachel and wendy (no kidding) and i went out with some older guys to a club called fresh, which was hip and new at the time. we really didn't know them; it was a friend of a friend deal. well, they invited us back to their pad at harbourfront in toronto and pulled out some cocaine. i'd never tried it before, but i was really drunk and really game to try anything new. so we tried it ad nauseum and then the one guy got ugly and dragged me off to his apartment down the hall. my girlfriend was too wasted to notice and i was too polite to holler in an exclusive building at 3 in the morning (no kidding, again; how often does shyness kill people?). he began interrogating me in a most disconcerting way that made it clear he didn't like young, naive middle-class girls. in the end, i got away by acting all young and stupid and more or less slithering out the door but i'll never forget his black leather outfit, his impersonal living room and his chilly, dark eyes. i'll never forget throwing up all the next day, either...

I, like most women I know,
fear being alone...
it's a serious fear.

About 15 years ago some friends and I attended a concert at the Oakland colosium in CA. where a few weeks earlier a young girl was shot to death in the parking lot.

We were talking about it as we meandered through the lot looking for the car we arrived in. I remember how the car roofs looked that night as they glistened in the clear blue moonlight.

I was trailing behind our small group when I noticed a biker type dude sitting on the back of a pick up. Someone was standing next him but what I saw next quickened me to my soul.

He had something in his hand and he was pointing it at me. At first I wasn't too sure so I kept on walking pretending to ignore him.

But with every step that I took, his arm followed me right along in a smooth steady sweep.

My mother would sometimes use the expression, "hairs standing on end", but never new what she meant. That night the skin on the back of my neck tightened so fast I'm sure my hair stood straight out.

As the urge to bolt turned into thoughts of, "I'm going to die tonight!" I realized he was only pointing out some directions to the person next to him.

My fear turned to feelings of relief then angry stupidity. Somethings seem what they aren't and ever since that warm August night my neck has never been the same.

By the way, the only other person I've ever told this to is my perfect wife Wendy.

I've had a lot of frightening experiences (not to mention a long list of insecurities, but that's another question, isn't it?), but none quite compares to one in my early teens. I lived in a small town that had only one stop light...and the light was only for one direction. No one ever slowed down on the crossing street, despite a 30 MPH speed limit.

One day I was crossing the road on my bicycle in an attempt to "beat" an oncoming tractor-trailer. I probably would have made it, too, if the shifter on my 10-speed hadn't decided at that moment to slip out of gear, leaving me stranded in the middle of the road.

Apparently, the truck driver thought that blaring his horn would slow him down, because he never hit his brakes. I scrambled out of the way with about a foot to spare...and a promise to myself never to do anything as stupid ever again.

Coincidentaly, my mother was killed on the same road (about 1/4 mile away) when a car hit her while she was riding her bicycle about 10 years later. A few years after that, the family dog was hit and killed in almost exactly the same spot as my mother. Needless to say, I stay away from that road as much as possible on my trips back to my hometown.

You asked about men and fear. I was the most scared in my life when I was around 10 years old and visiting my uncle in Audubon, Iowa. On this night, severe thunderstorms dumped torrential rains in the area and flooded several communities in the area. The unrelenting thunder, lightening, and rain had me absolutely petrified. But as they say, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. The most severe storms today don't phase me. I also used to be terrified of heights. Working for 20+ years at a plant that requires working at elevations has helped cure me of that phobia. I'm still cautious with heights, but can now stand on the edges unsecured and look straight down. Used to be, I would have collapsed to the ground, hanging on for dear life. I spent a year in Vietnam (not in infantry) and was never as scared as with the above circumstances.

I was working a lot of a long hours at work for an upcoming inspection (I was in the military). Driving home one morning, I kept feeling around my thigh--thinking that my skin was "melting." The night before that, my husband turned off the light in the bedroom so that we could go to sleep and I shouted out "I am blind I am blind I am blind." (Turns out I was hallucinating due to lack of sleep). I was sleeping less than 1/2 hour a night for days. (My medical diagnosis turned out to be Manic Depression).

Yes i'm gonna be a daddy
for the first time...
THAT'S SCARY! Try that
on spider boy!

only 3 women? [note from Wendy: this is in reference to my complaint that only women had written me letters to add to the Fear page] Well, i'm a guy (at least that's what mom says) and i just hate spiders. i mean, i will crash through walls to get away from a spider. our house sits on the edge of a wooded area, and spiders are a constant thing. once, while trying to find something (i think it was a baseball) stuck between our shack and the fence that separates us from the wood, i ended up face to face with a spider. a large, black, spotted spider clinging to the shack. mabye a hundred arms like tentacles, maybe more (probably more). that was a few years ago, i was 20, and i am still hopelessly terrified of spiders. ugh, thinking about it gives me goosebumps. spiders. ugh.

and oh yeah. i'm not too fond of roaches either. especially the kind that can fly. we seem to have a lot of those in our house...

For my 40th birthday, I decided to rent a beautiful home at the ocean. I spent days working with realtors and finally found what I thought was the perfect house.

On the day we arrived, we discovered we'd rented a SHACK FOR $3000 A WEEK. We decided to make the best of it though, until I noticed hundreds of snakes in the tall grasses surrounding the house.

I am TERRIFIED of snakes and had to resort to standing on the front porch, screaming AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON THE PORCH AND SWISHING A BROOM BACK AND FORTH THROUGH THE GRASSES. After all this I'd jump up and down one more time and, holding the broom, race down the stairs into the car.

We bailed out of there the next day. I will NEVER go to Florence,Ore., again, except for the fresh bing cherry ice cream.

Valentine's Day has always been one of my favorite holidays, whether in a relationship or not. Even in grade school I enjoyed getting valentines from my favorite female friends in class. I hope your memories of this day are good. I only had one really bad memory of valentine's day, but let me assure you that no one was injured and it has a happy ending.

The story takes place back in 1991. It was only about 0 degrees outside, and I had won a gift certificate for a valentine bouquet from the Balloon Loft. I had asked a friend to drive me there, and help me select what I wanted. He and another platonic friend were willing to do me this favor. We get to the store, pick up my gifts, (I say gifts because until that moment, I couldn't decide who I wanted to give a valentine too, between two female friends, and ended up getting them both something.)

Anyway, we left the Balloon Loft, the roads were very slick by this time, it was dark, about 7:00 P.M. and Dennis's car decided to slide into someone else's. He gets out, our other friend and I stay and talk about the shock, then a car hits us from behind while we're waiting for Dennis.

Dennis comes back and the car won't start. He talks to the guy that hit us, we eventually get moving again, and I'm upset because I probably never would have asked him to do me this favor if I knew the weather was gonna be this bad. So, we get back to the college campus, and another friend offers to walk over to one of the girl's apartment with me to drop off one of the valentines. We about freeze, we slipped and fell twice, and the only good thing I can say was the girl was home, very receptive of the gift, and gave me a nice carnation, which I treasured and kept alive in my refrigerator for about a month. The other girl, (who I was less enthusiastic about getting a valentine for) thanked me later at a campus amateur comedy contest.

So, things turned out fine. I still talk to both girls occasionally, even though nothing really developed between me and either of them. Still, for all the stress and frost bite, it was a Valentine's Day I'll never forget.

I was just learning to drive, and learning on my brother's hand-me-down Kharman Ghia. Wonderfully fun car to drive, but this one was not in great shape... the convertible roof had rotted off, first of all.

So I was at my folks' pizza restaurant, and it started to rain, with no dry place to put the roofless car. I drove it home, not far, with Mom following me. Here I am, new and nervous driver, getting rained on... and then I make a right-hand turn, and the driver's door flew open!

But I made it home ok.

My most frightening moment was one that I will never forget.

While driving through Birmingham Alabama on my way to Florida to attend a family funeral, I did something that I will never do again, something that could have cost me my life.

While on a four lane expressway a car load of young adults swerved in front of me and started making rude guestures, I thought to ignore them and move into another lane, only to once again be cut off.

Within a matter of seconds they had nudged my car into the far left lane next to a concrete gurder, I tossed my hands into the air yelling and wondering how someone could be so careless and act so dangerous as to endanger someone else.

They took this action as a form of disrespect, slowed their car and as one of them hung from the window of the car, aimed a gun at me and so with no other thought than to put as much distance as possible between myself and them, I slammed on my brakes.

The force of the car stopping flung my head down towards my chest, saving my life.

I was later told by the police that even with the license plate number there was not much that they could do. Take it from me, never make eye contact, guestures, or speak with anyone while driving in an unknown area, for that matter, even in your own neighborhood. It could cost you your life.

I've found recently from first hand experience that the most terrifying thing in the world is... nothing at all! For the first time in my life I've begun having panic attacks (I hope they are under control now) and know what it is to have waves of terror and panic wash over me for no discernible reason AT ALL. That sets up a feedback loop as the fear of being afraid kicks in...

I'm scared of society.
You never know what they
will do next... dissect
humans, form a terrifying
cult, sacrifices, or just
brutally murdering people.
That's something I think
everyone deep down inside
is afraid of.

It all started last Sunday night (May 12, 1996)....I was running the dishwasher...you know, that nifty gadget that frees up your time? Well, it kicked onto the rinse cycle and KABLOOMMMIE!!! Smoke, sparks, flames shot up, then it gave a horrible gasp! then was heard from no more! *sigh*

So, we cleaned up the mess, washed the dishes by hand (ICkY), and went to bed. The next morning, I awoke (as usual), stumbled into the kitchen and began to make coffee in one of those time saving appliances called Mr. Coffee...you know, the one that you can pull the pot out while it is still brewing to pour a cup? I rushed into the bathroom to begin my morning routine, and a few minutes later I hear this drip..drip..dripping sound. Well, I know it rains a lot here in Oregon, but usually not IN the house! So, I search the house carefully, making my way to the kitchen...and lo!! The coffee pot has not one drop of coffee in it..rather, 10 cups of coffee are puddling onto the floor, seeping into the cabinets and drawers!

As I grabbed the sponge and began to sop up the hot mess, my teenage son comes tearing into the kitchen in his socks, wading right through the puddles, oblivious to the mess, releases our two dogs, who then began to slip and slide across the floor in their eagerness to get outside. The teen monster tears open the refrigerator door and the NEW gallon of milk comes FLYING out, smashing into the opposite cabinet, splattering into the puddles of coffee on the floor! Cafe au Lait! (Mind you, this is taking place at 6am) Screaming and cursing, I grab the mop, as this job is too big now for a simple sponge, and begin to mop the floor. The dogs appear not to notice I am preoccupied and happily slosh back and forth to greet me.

Well, you would think my week would have gotten better....oh no!!!

Last night (Saturday, May 18th), my fearless duo (hubby and teen monster) decided to go up into the mountains to plant clover to attract the deer and elk for the forthcoming hunting season. With a kiss and a wave, they tell me they will be back in an hour or two...time passes....and passes...4 hours, 5, 6...no sign of them...I begin to worry that the truck is stuck (it has been raining a lot---nothing new here). I wonder where they might be..what mountain, where...? then the silence is broken by the phone.

BBBRRRIINGGGG!!! "Hello?" "Hi, Mom. This is Jordan. I think Dad wants to talk to you..here he is.." *sigh* "Honey?" "Oh Jim, I was getting worried. I was sure you had gotten your truck terribly stuck somewhere!" "Oh, we're not stuck. We had an accident. Can you come pick us up?" EEEKKKK!!! "Are you alright?" "Yes, we are all ok. But the truck is totaled. Can you come pick us up?"

So, we are now without a dishwasher, a coffeepot, and a vehicle. The wonders of modern conveniences!

The one that springs to mind is when my then-significant other and I were driving our 32-foot hippie schoolbus on a narrow winding mountain highway in Idaho and the hood suddenly popped open, completely obscuring our view of the road!

To this day, I don't remember what happened next. But here I am to tell the tale.

(Actually, this reminds me of the time my left front tire blew out at 75mph on a crowded freeway, spinning me totally around and facing the oncoming traffic. Suddenly, I was surrounded by highway patrol cars, as if they had dropped out of the sky. (I think I'm missing a few crucial moments here, too...) Oh well...nature's way of keeping me sane and driving, I suppose.