I was upstairs writing. I heard a large thump from downstairs and a voice yelling, "Wendy! Come quick! And bring your shoes!"

I grabbed my shoes and thumped barefooted down the stairs, running out toward the garden where I knew my industrious beloved had been tending to the garden. "What is it," I cried out anxiously.

He motioned for me to take a look at the top of one of the tomato plants (that are taller than me, by the way). Sitting perched at the top of the plant was the most gigantic caterpillar I have ever seen in my life. It was fat and green and looked, given a large portion of the day, as if it could devour a small tree.

We speculated on whether it was attempting to eat the tomato plant from the top down, but we could not see any place that it might have been munching. However, as my intrepid gardener of love said, "Why else would it be there?"

We examined several books, and only reached one conclusion: All caterpillar drawings look the same.

In an effort to be fair, in case this caterpillar was indeed a butterfly waiting to be born, we figured the best thing was to remove the caterpillar from the plant and toss it away somewhere harmless (like into the neighbor's yard).

I stood in the doorway watching He Who Delivers Me From The Multiply-Legged. He gently grasped the caterpillar around the middle and began to pull him away from the tomato stem. The caterpillar would not budge. "He's got quite a grip," the love of my life said.

He got a tighter hold on the caterpillar, enough to be bracing, but not enough to squeeze the thing's innards. He pulled again. I saw a flash of something reflective in the sun. At that instant, my hero exclaimed, "Aagh! It squirted me with something green!"

The caterpiller had, in fact, opened its mouth and sprayed a giant green projectile toward my boyfriend. The spray projected several feet and, I saw later, was very green.

And still the caterpillar would not turn loose of the tomato stem.

But finally, the humans prevailed and the caterpillar was bodily removed whereupon he began to try to bite the hand which held him. He was a ferocious monster. I had no idea caterpillars could be such fighters.

We examined him carefully so we could later see him in a caterpillar lineup. He was a medium green color with several heavy legs with black tips. He also had many smaller legs on his underside. His skin was lightly striated and, I think, had some coloration of darker green and possibly red. He had a big mouth on one end and a small red tail on the other end.

If you have a chance encounter with such a creature, make sure you are wearing eye protection before attempting to remove the intruder from your property.

Addendum: Someone found a picture of the intruder in a police casebook archive on the web. Check it out so you won't ever be caught unarmed and ill-prepared for these types of encounters when you're out in the wilds. (Thanks, Joe.) And I found a county extension sheet on the devils as well. But if you think I've got a problem with one, better think again and check out Jay's problem.